As a society, we focus so much on losing weight. Skinny is the “norm” and Postpartum is no excuse. Right? What happens when it doesn’t just fall off? What happens when you look in the mirror and see someone 3 or 4 times the size you used to be? This is my story of making moments magical, part 2 of my postpartum progress. (Read Part 1 Here)
The Beach Is My Nemesis
These past two years my dad has invited us to the beach. Well, all I hear from my family is how much weight I’ve gained in the past 4 years so why even go? Getting into a swimsuit is terrifying. I love my swimsuit but I haven’t loved how I looked in it for a while.
Having 2 kids in 2 years took a toll on my body physically, mentally, and emotionally. Feeling just like a lump because I’m too tired, too slow, not my college weight, or just because I had given up. So why even try going to the beach anymore?
Last year I tried. I went to the beach, tried to play with my kids a little and just have fun. Looking at photos where I’m smiling I know that inside I was hurting. Just completely broken down by this mom thing, postpartum thing, just literally weighed down.
It’s Hard to Try
So many people told me, just try. “Try one day at a time to get active, you’ll get there.” Can any of you relate to that pressure? Why do others feel the need to put added pressure on you?Why do people feel the need to comment negatively about your weight? I don’t get it. Why is my body not “snapping back” such a concern to everyone else? How am I harming you by not looking like I used to?
Trying is hard enough without that added pressure. Getting up every day knowing you aren’t what society deems as “perfect” is hard enough. So what do you do about that added pressure? Crumble?
For me, I just started tuning them out and started lashing out. When someone would comment negatively I’d say, “ok…and?” Or once I started losing weight I’d say, “just so you all know I’ve lost 10 pounds since you are so worried about it.” Not quite the positive story you were expecting, huh? Well, I just got mad.
Mad at people for hurting me, mad at myself for letting people get to me, and just mad. Eventually, that anger changed course. I started finding my footing after a reading with Kelley Orion. Something’s she said just made me find peace. Within that peace, I found my mantra, “make the moments magical”.
Make The Moments Magical
What that mantra means is that I stopped caring what others thought, I stopped getting angry, and I started focusing on making moments magical for my children.My kids are experiencing life for the first time so why am I so angry? Why am I focusing on so many negative things instead of making their first moments matter? That thought seriously blew my mind and I started taking them to more places getting more active in the process.
Ok, I will say that these last few months I did change my diet a little. I am vegetarian for the most part. (Out of financial reasons not necessarily moral or health reasons) but that’s it really. I haven’t started working out yet but that will possibly change next year. Mostly I just started focusing on my kids more and loving myself through their eyes.
The Beach This Year
You know what the wildest thing is? I didn’t even realize that I had lost as much weight as I have this past year. 26lbs. I had noticed my clothes loosening and started hearing positive comments versus negative ones. But I never really believed it or thought about it until I went to the beach this year. I put on the swimsuit without fear, got active with my children, and actually had fun this year!
Join me in a few weeks at MommyCon Atlanta to hear more about my story and how I push through the parental chaos!
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