It’s Cycle Time Again
Why? Why do I have to have this stupid Endometriosis? I hate it so much. I’m going to whine and complain about it because it seriously sucks. Endometriosis sucks!
Ok, I’ll dial it back a little. If you have a menstrual cycle, pms, or just really bad cramps you sort of know what I mean. Some women are blessed with little to no pain during their cycle. Some, like me, are useless when it’s that time of the month.
Useless is a Strong Word
Yeah, yeah, don’t talk about myself like that. But you try having this shit. Picture this: Halfway through the month you start feeling weak, a little cramping, and your whole stomach just aches. You think your cycle will start any day right? Wrong. You still have 2-3 weeks before it starts and even then it may be late.
Basically I’ve decided my body hates me as much as I hate Endometriosis. I never had that middle of the month completely fatigued feeling until after my second baby. Now it’s I either stop what I’m doing and rest or I may throw up. Remember my cycle hasn’t even started yet.
And so it Begins
The ache. The weakness in your legs, back, stomach, arms, basically everywhere. I’ve started to realize when it’s about to start and so far have caught it on time. Then the bleeding and aching doesn’t stop. In fact Day 2-3 is usually the worst.
Take this month for example. It is Day 2 of my cycle on my son’s 3rd birthday. We are also on the last day of our dumpster rental. We are trying to clear out our house, start over, maybe even sell the house.
Anyways, I cannot move, I cannot pick up my daughter, I definitely cannot pick up my son. I feel completely useless. Endometriosis has struck again and I just feel it sucking the life out of me.
What About Drugs?
All my life I’ve heard people, who mean well, asking the wrong questions.
“Why don’t you take Midol or Motrin?”
-because it makes me puke during my cycle
“It’s not that bad for me, why are you so dramatic?”
-because everyone is different and Endometriosis isn’t just a regular cycle, it’s almost all the time.
“You should try…”
-trust me I’ve tried it all, from holistic to medical. Not much helps this.
Or even just a simple “yeah, that sucks for you.”
-yeah well…I could use some choice words but I’m saved so…bless you thank you very much.
Even one of my doctors laughed at me when I mentioned my struggles with tampons and sex. That is until she looked and realized I also have Fibroids. Needless to say, I never saw her again. Who laughs at a patient? Rude.
Thank goodness for the surgery I had a few months before conceiving Kbebe or who knows if I would even have been able to have children. In fact, I rarely talk about it, we had a miscarriage before Kbebe. I am extremely grateful to have both my babies, some women with Endometriosis cannot conceive.
Fighting My Way Through Endometriosis
I just want someone to ask me, “What is Endometriosis?” Or even just someone to say, “Hang in there.”
At my blogging conference a few weeks ago, I attended a session called “MEinEndo”. During that session I learned that 1 in 10 women suffer from Endometriosis. Did you know that? I didn’t!
I thought I was alone and being dramatic. I thought I should be fighting through leg pain/numbness to be like everyone else. But I’m not alone! The more I open up on social media the more I realize that I’m not the only MEinEndo.
I’ve had several friends come forward to show solidarity. It’s amazing what being real and showing “weakness” will do. I can lay here completely broken, crying, and wracked with pain without feeling alone. There are other women out there who are just like me, fighting the good fight.
So, continue the conversation! Get on social media and spread the word about Endometriosis! Use the hashtag #MeinEndo to show solidarity. Also feel free to comment your story on this blog post!