Sometimes Marriage is Hard
You have so much outside pressure to be perfect and the live a perfect life. Sometimes it can feel completely overwhelming when you add in parental chaos. The upcoming Solar Eclipse this coming Monday, August 21, 2017, has me thinking about a lot of things.
SIDE NOTE: Check out these awesome Eclipse Party Plans I found on the NASA Website!
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Seeing the moon shadow over the sun can be compared to how to tend to live our life. In your relationship how often do you cover your true self? How many times have you caught yourself thinking about how you “should” act versus how you really want to act?
Why do we hide our true selves?
Is it how we were raised? I know for me that I was always taught to obey. To never show weakness and in turn, never allow your silly to show. People don’t like that about you, hide all of that and “act right.”
All that does is push it down deep. One day it could come bubbling out resulting in a completely different person. I’m not perfect at it but I really am working on putting my true self out there. I’m wacky, silly, sweet, and caring. (Humble too obviously) It’s totes legit to be who you were meant to be. My husband loves when I let my stress go and let me shine.
Why do we put so much pressure on our partners to fit our fantasy?
Guilty. I am SO bad at this one. Hiding for so long makes me now irritated when others act out of place. My husband is so free and is so good at being himself. That annoys me because I have this idea in my head of what I want in the relationship. Relationships are two-way streets. Ya gotta give a little to get a little.
Communication has been big for us. It’s how we get through it all. Talking when we can during the day. Supporting each other when we can see the other getting upset. Actually saying what you mean versus what you think they want to hear.
Change your mindset of your perfect relationship. It’s not going to happen because this isn’t The Sims. You aren’t in control of your partner’s emotions or actions. All you can control is how you react and how you communicate your needs.
A Total Eclipse of Your Relationship
So as the moon covers the sun think about your relationship. How can you be more truthful with yourself and your partner? What light have you been hiding that by shining through may cause your partner to fall in love all over again? Use thought out wording to accurately describe what you need. Try not to use blaming words and focus more on yourself/your needs.
Tell them! Tell them how you feel, your real self, and communicate effectively. Use wording that has been thought out to accurately describe what you need. Try not to use blaming words or lashing out. Actually listen to what they are saying, hear them, repeat it back, and focus on how you can make a stronger bond.
Let this time be a renewal of love between you all. Let it be the start of something worthwhile. It takes more than love to make a marriage/partnership. Push the parental chaos aside, make time to grow your relationship, and put in the work. Stay true to your needs while communicating and compromising to build a successful family. Both partners need to be on board but, you can do it!
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