The “Cool Kids” Club
Everywhere you go there are “cool kids” and then their underlings, right? You join a parent group and then get too scared to post because it seems like there is already cliques formed. Where do you fit in? Do you fit in? Let me tell you a secret, the “cool kids club” is just a myth. They seem like they have it all together but the truth is they are just like anyone else. I’ve been a believer in that myth my whole life but all of that stops this year, the year of fearless.
This year I refuse to let my insecurities dictate my self-worth, my relationship, my parenting style, or my friendships. I’ve resigned to no longer seek out this mysterious”cool kids club” I’ve invented in my brain. I’m focusing on finding the cool kid within myself and fostering growth among the friendships that support her.
Ok, so once you take on the year of fearless two things happen. Number one you realize that words have powerful meanings and in the past, you have messed up some potential friendships. Number two you realize that it doesn’t matter what happened in the past, all you can do is move forward. Find friendships that fuel your self-worth and confidence. Don’t get stuck thinking you have no other choices.
Now, that doesn’t mean abandon your current friendships in favor of others. It just means that it’s ok to grow and change. True friends will understand that growth happens and that you don’t have to talk every day to be #bffs. Getting older I’ve learned that I rarely talk to some of my greatest friends but when we do talk it’s like we never were apart.
What happens if you don’t have any friends and your mom group seems cliquey? Well, you have to put yourself out there in order to create friendships, it’s just the name of the game. As parents, it’s hard to stop thinking like a parent 24/7 and look at the mom next to you who just needs to talk to an adult human. For me, that is the hardest part of being a SAHM; not talking to adults until 7 or 8 PM.
You have to reach out and/or you have to reciprocate when people do reach out. But look, who am I kidding? I’m still not perfect at this, being a lurker in mom groups is so much easier than being vulnerable. My inner-self tells me that no one really cares what I have to say. My outer-self has other plans for 2018. I’m trying to push past my fears and push into making lasting relationships. In fact, I’m going LIVE in The Hydeaway tomorrow with a new friend to discuss this whole “cool kids club” myth and how making parent friends is easier than you think.
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